Or at least you thought you did. Everything was perfect until one day it just wasn’t.
Then what did you do? Most likely tore him/her apart or berated yourself. It happens but it doesn’t have to be your story. Try changing it into something that is working in your favor. You know what I’m getting at…ever hear the saying “love is blind”? Yep, that’s because all those feel good hormones are pumping through your bloodstream in the beginning- the excitement, the endearments, the new found energy.
Oh, let’s not forget about the sex! Ahhmazing, right!? Yep, let’s add in oxytocin the bonding hormone that begins to flow. You are hooked now.
However, months go by, and the list of not so cute habits, underwhelming date nights, and overwhelming undercurrent of doubt about Mr./Ms.Right start to set alarms off in your head.
Maybe they are better off being referred to as “Mr./Ms. Right Now” which is totally okay. People’s needs and priorities can change over time. What may be a perfect match at one point in life may not necessarily be the same in the future.
Relationships are complex and dynamic, and it’s important to consider personal growth, compatibility, and evolving goals. It’s not to say that Mr./Ms. Right Now can’t become Mr./Ms. Right in the long run, but it’s essential to be open to the possibility that what we want and need in a partner can change over time.
It’s always beneficial to approach relationships with an open mind and a willingness to adapt and grow together.
3 Tips to keep your relationship juicy
Tip #1 – It is crucial to keep the line of communication open.
No matter what you think you know your partner is thinking- ask, listen then respond.
Use the acronym MAU:
- Mirror
Share what you have heard back to your partner using their words, capturing the essence of what you believe they have shared with you.
- Acknowledge
Begin to try to understand your partner’s logic and/or experience of what they shared with you
- Understand
Share emotional experiences that you may have had that explain the experience they are having.
With each sharing check in if what one partner shared is being understood or if there is anything else? Continue to mirror your partner until they feel acknowledged and understood.
Tip #2 – Get clear on your Relationship Goals and Intentions.
Explore what are your values? How do you want to feel? What do you want your sex life and emotional connection to look like? How do you want to grow in your relationship?
Tip #3 – Have scheduled Date & Sex Nights (can be separate from each other)
Create safety! Safety is important to consider on all levels- physical, emotional, energetic, mental, and spiritual. Discuss what would safety feel like and look like in your date night/sex night? What are examples of this safety?
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…and let me know your experience!
If seeking further coaching please contact me at teja@tejavalentin.com
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